# 43 rewrite opening paragraph and title

# 43

It’s really interesting to read all the classmates’ title and opening paragraph. And I think it’s really helpful since there are a lot of useful suggestions about my title and choose the most suitable opening sentence.

        It’s really glad to see there are a lot of stars on just 2 or 3 topics since it helps me to rewrite my introduction readily. So following is my opening paragraph.

        Have you ever thought that video games can help people lose weight? Have you ever thought that you can almost learn how to play bowling at home? These thoughts that people ten years ago could never imagined have come true. Nowadays, with the fast development of technology which gets used in video games, the function of video games are quite different from previews edition that just play for meaningless fun. Talking about video games, many parents think it’s just a machine that rob their children from daily life, many children spent abundant of time sit in front of the scene and hold the remote controller connected by wire. However, this thought should be changed. Video nowadays like home console is not just a simple tool for fun, it’s also a good method to gain knowledge, keep fit and develop friendship.

        Moreover, about the evaluation of the title, it’s really upset to see those score under 5, but it remind me that I didn’t do very well at make a attracting topic. Thanks for the suggestion, I find that my title is a little bit long and it’s too direct. So I am going to rewrite my title as “Video game, just for fun?”